Sad Day and Horrible Wake Up Call!

     I had a rough night last night and woke up real sad with reality slapping me in the face. A friend passed away Sunday night, Melinda, I was notified by a mutual friend last night it is very sad. I was just thinking about her over the weekend too, maybe my heart felt it coming? She was just a bit older than me, I think 60 now. She had diabetes way out of control and a few other health issues I believe high blood pressure. She lives where we use to in Pompano Beach and worked with me at Sears. She helped me a lot with medications I couldn't get for my diabetes, just in general with my work and she even gave me a lovely Dream Catcher. I'm sorry to say we weren't in contact like we should have been.
  
     I have been failing my diet and so my health and I feel like this was a big and I do mean BIG wake up call. This could be me in a few short years if I do not get my act together and get back on my healthy road, I have no idea why I stopped but it is obviously time to get going again and this time stay on track! My Dr. D told me that I have proven I can do this, and only I can fix this issue. I have no answer to why I stopped, I have a lot of reasons, but those are truly only excuses.

     This is my road and I was sick, but I can work around that issue so that needs to stop being an excuse. I feel like I'm alone with very little encouragement, even when I slip and again this is my road I need to do it for me. I felt guilty for losing too for offending someone who wasn't losing or not losing as fast and I certainly do not want to do that but again I am on my road and I need to continue to move forward, all I can do for others is try to encourage them and not brag lol which is hard because it kind of motivates you if others say you are doing good now and then, so maybe I just need to focus on how to brag without offense.

     I have major changes in my life happening and I sure don't want to die so very young, or to have to suffer for my remaining years. I did start a food journal, not a calorie counter but a food journal, to keep track of what I eat in a day, am I sticking to my 5 small meals, or 3 meals and 2 snacks a day? or am I eating WAY too much, or all the wrong things? I just am terrible at counting calories so I think, and hope that this will work better for me.

     I will try these baby steps and see if I can get back on the right road again. It is so very sad that Melinda died when she could have prevented it easily... see that word? yep it isn't "easy" but it isn't hard either, losing pounds is hard but making healthy changes which help your healthy while you take off the pounds is easy unless you push it aside. Time is running and I need to move it!