Weeks 7 & 8 ended

Well week 7 has came with the 2 lb gain, but other things stayed the same, week 8 came and went with all numbers stayed the same, still have the 2 lb gain but it is the only gain all other numbers have stayed the same. I have figured out one thing during these two weeks...I went back to more normal foods, still restricting my potatoes and pasta's to 2 a week the rest has been meals with meat and veggies... this is a maintaining diet or life diet once I lose all the lbs.

This Sunday will be week 9 and I will come back and log everything in and that is when I am going back to my restricted diet and try to get some more lbs off before the holidays come along. I do have a bit more confidence that if I stay on the diet I've been on or my life diet during the holidays I should be ok and not fall off and crash!

*I bought a pair of pants today in a color and fabric (jean) I've been longing for, they are a bit snug, which I do not like, I CAN wear them though but 5 or 10 more lbs or just a couple inches and they will be mag! so I have a goal lol

Get Back on Track

Ok so I've slipped off and it's time to get back on the right path! I made myself a cup of tea at 5:30ish this morning, sat down to read and then had a good talk with myself after I checked my sugar.... I said self are you going to keep with the blurry vision until it's totally permanent? you've gained 2 lbs are you going to gain back all those hard lost lbs? No way in hell! I am stronger than this! I have learned to walk and talk against all odds, if I can do those things I can do this! 

So, I did 60 push ups and my 15 minute workout, I did 12 minutes and 2 sets, that was all I could do this morning (at 6am lol) so I figure I'll work in another 60 push ups and another 15 minute workout...at mim 2 sets hopefully that will work as well as doing 3-4 sets at one time?

I need to fine tune my diet again too... gone into hamburger and fries world again and that is very much not ok, not for my diet and not for my life diet either! I wonder if I'll always been addicted to those bad choices? Well I quit smoking after 30+ years I can surely get control over bad foods! Especially since my sugar is up again and my sight was bad last evening for my last two classes and I was thinking oh no, why have you let yourself do this?

When I left for school yesterday I was proud, I put on tight pants that fit nicely now and my favorite shirt that I don't wear so often (trying to save it lol) and it was big I mean BIG on me, even Kim said something without being asked it was so obvious! I want to continue that route because it feels so good! I mean I thought heck I've only lost 12 lbs and 19 inches after weeks of trying so hard I was a bit disappointed in myself but yesterday it hit me it is slowly but surely working.... I have a pair of jeans to fit into next (;

Workout Sore lol

I did my (new) abs 15 minute workout. I think I like this one better, although with weights it's a bit harder, maybe that's what I like?

I am up to 90 push ups now too... but boy are my arms sore! Must mean I'm doing the job right?

I'm really working hard getting in walking too... I want to get this next 10 lbs off before Sept moves into Oct!

ROFL ok so I want to buy a couple new sexy bra's and some new panties too with the extra money I'll have at the end of the month, it would be a waste of money to buy them unless I'm done the extra size.... so just keep on working!

How to Prevent Relapse

I came across a story of a lady who has lost 119 lbs and this was one of the questions she was asked. I like the answer mainly because it is simular to what I have come to believe which is not easy because we are all inclined to fall and then add misery to it instead of getting up, dusting off and moving forward again.

 It is like I said earlier about this holiday weekend, try to keep in control and not eat 6 pieces of cake lol but accept that you will eat "bad" foods or eat too much...there will be many events in life, birthdays, holidays and more, this is part of life and we are all hopeful or should be hopeful to make this a life choice not just I want to fit into that bikini or speedo and look hot and catch Mr/Mrs Right... if they are right they will love you whatever size you are.

You need to take these steps to be healthy and looking good is an added bonus... or at least that's my opinion on it.

How do you prevent relapse?
"Every day is a new day. I allow myself to have a bad choice without having that attitude of "screw it"; I messed up so let's keep messing up and have a piece of cheesecake!"

End of Week 6

Here we are another week has passed. I was very concerned I'd gain this week, eating chew foods and then yesterday I really felt I over did it and made bad choices...so I didn't lose this week but the good news is I didn't gain either.  I think I'm going to accept that it's a holiday weekend and I have bad choices, so I need to limit the amounts of those bads I have... then go back to my strict diet, it's working...s l o w l y..... but working LOL I have a long road and a lifetime of maintaining my health so I'll keep going  It's at times a very lonely trip but then in my case my life is sort of lonely so no excuses!


Weight is down 0 lb.. total 12 lbs gone (sure wish this would start moving in 3's again (:

Bust down 1/2"  total is 4 1/2" down
Waist down 2" woo hoo :) total is 6" down
Hips stayed but total of 7 1/2" down :)
Arms stayed but total of 1" down :)

total inches lost 19 not bad, not bad at all..

sinking ship

I think I switch over to chew foods too soon :( I am worried that I'm getting out of hand this weekend... we have pizza in the house, we always do but in the freezer and I'm not in love with that kind of pizza...but this is made to order for me and my serving does not have as many calories as some of my soups I feel guilty for some reason? We'll see how it goes tomorrow when I wt in I'd be shaking in my boots but I don't have boots on LOL

On another note, a stress thing that affects my eating habits too... I was asked to do something yesterday that would make it easier for my boss that lives far away and easier on me... BUT it appeas it will evade my private spaces... basically I'd be giving an open door to my computer... it should be able to be private for one user but it's not seeming that way...so I have not said no (yet) I want my son in law to advise me... but if this person can access my private side then it will be no.  The more I tossed this around the stronger and calmer I felt it's hard to explain but if it cost me jobs or even a friend it is ok - I am confident that I am ok with the power I have over ME... my ex used spyware on me... when I had a shared computer it was a matter of signing out of everything or ... well one of the many reasons to buy this laptop was so I can have privacy I can control if I want to sign out or leave things open, I write what I am thinking or feeling in documents and it is safely there.

A man, John, who has been with me for a number of years said to me recently that he is so proud of me in how I've over-come so much from speech on... he said :) "you've come a long way baby" I know that is a common expression but to me it was like... the best! So it came to me while sorting out the pros n cons of this situation... why yes John I have come a long way in more ways  than you can imagine!

First Day Back

Well yesterday was my first day back to school for Fall semester and it went ok EXCEPT didn't take the time to make sure I ate all my dinner but was super proud of myself for not vending a candy bar!

That said I did go through Checkers on my way home and got a popcorn chicken box this comes with Fries. did I mention greasy fries? today I spent most of my time in the bathroom and feeling real bad. I had a ton of homework plus I needed to set up a new program for work and try to learn how to use it and all the time feeling real icky.

 Did I learn a lesson? YES!!! I have been very good and my body has adjusted to this healthier style and I need to stay with it or pay the price.

Over ate :(

I think I over ate yesterday, not by much but that is not the point I need to stay on track! Kim bought Everything French Bread to have with dinner and damn I love bread! It is one of my top bad choices in life! Did I eat too much of it? no but I did have seconds and that was not the way I should have handled it.  This is a life diet I'm on and I need to keep the changes and my self control in the front of my mind!

I'm stressing over school starting today, which is no excuse to make wrong choices, but stress always has and always play a part in my bad habits... confort food which is BS for me because it's... blindness foods and I need to train my mind to think of certain items that way. Food should taste good nothing wrong with that but food is fuel.

I really feel lonely, alone in life and that is so sad...

End of Week 5....

Well end of another week of this life change.  I changed my diet to make it more of what should be a normal meal plan for my life. I am still keeping less calories that just has to be and when I get to goal it actually might be a normal calorie level for my short self...hmmm I'll check into that! So no I did not do as well as I'd hope BUT better than all zero's.

Weight is down 1 lb.. total 12 lbs gone

Bust stayed same but total is 4" down
Waist stayed the same but total is 4" down
Hips went down 1/2" for a total of 7 1/2" down :)
Arms went down 1/2" for a total of 1" down :)

total inches lost 16 1/2 not bad..

School starts this week so we shall see how that goes...

checked and yes about the same calories for goal...cool lol

Little worries and a lot of babbling

I worry, I changed my diet to add a salad and meat for my dinners...it's great BUT I worry so very much about the chewing...yep chomp chomp... my soups were to drink, I stuck them in my blender and made them liquid in order to drink them.  I was very afraid if I tried to allot myself food I could chew I would say well damn this hamburger has the same calories so why not? and that would lead me back to bad choices.

I am on week 5 now, during the first 4 weeks I did not have a piece of bread, a cracker, a potato or pasta or rice... none of it! I have limited my soda pop to almost none - not easy for a 2 liter a day drinker! I can honestly say I had 2 drive thur soda's, 4 cans and 1 - 2 liter in all this time!

I'm doing ok so far, but HELLO it's only been Sun, Mon and today! lol I found out how healthy the rice (brown) was that I was making for Kim that I had my little serving too with my single serving of tilapia and I had my salad, which I didn't finish so I had it for my later snack (diabetic snack needed)

I have to lose the weight to save my sight - period! I have to learn to eat this new way not having certain foods except once in a very limited while because if the weight came back so would the loss of vision issue.

I guess right now it's all very hard, I'm teaching myself about choices and to make the right ones in nutrition/calories and I'm trying to add in the exercising and increase it while trying not to hurt my shoulder or legs ok or back heck old bones lol my main goal is get the weight off as fast as I can in a healthy way but fast, my sight is having major issues. at my rate of loss I think I have about 3 more months to get to first goal and first goal should make my vision good.

It sure as hell was easy to gain this weight! Why can't it be as easy to take it off?

Small Changes

After giving it a lot of thought today, I went to market and picked up some new foods for my diet. I've been having protein shakes and low calorie homemade soups and I still intend to but I've decided to add a salad with a protein (egg, tuna, chicken) to each days dinner menu at least for a week or two and see how things go doing that.

Tues and Thurs are about to become very full for me classes from 12:30 til 8:30pm. I'll be able to take a nice healthy salad for my dinner hour 4 to 5:30 but I don't think I'll be able to add a workout into those days so I need to get a routine going for my workouts that will keep me on track all the rest of the week! I'd think it shouldn't be hard...

End of Week 4 and not happy :(

Well it's the end of my 4th week of this hard journey! I am ok with my progress but not overjoyed I had expected to be at a better weight by now but I've been ok with the inches lost and even the weight down  Today I have lost another 2 lbs which is better then none but less than my other 3 weeks and I lost no inches and that is way bad...

weight loss: 2 lbs total lbs lost: 11
inches lost: 0 total inches lost: 15 1/2

I have not been exercising enough I hurt my shoulder but that is no excuse I need to get back to doing this.

Helpful Places

I was hunting around for information and found this about how simple cuts can help you lose weight without really working hard at it.... just found some of it helpful, things I hadn't thought about trying or doing. Anyway I thought I'd share it and maybe it will help someone else who happens on my blog.
http://health.yahoo.net/articles/weight-loss/photos/25-ways-cut-500-calories-day#0

End of Week Three

OK end of week 3...

Weight down 3 lbs (I seemed to be stuck on this 3 lbs a week deal lol) for a total of 9 gone!

Bust  1" total 4"
Waist 1 1/2" total 4"
Hips 1 1/2" total 7"
Arm 1/2" total 1/2" finally something LOL

I've lost a total of 9 lbs and 15 inches....

Well not as much as I wanted to see gone but it sure is better than nothing and I do feel my hard work is paying off... just... man it's so easy to gain why can't it be just as FAST to lose? isn't fair LOL

Plateau woes

I’m at that plateau, hit it last year when I lost the 25 and couldn’t get past it…then gained 7 lbs of the 25 back, could have been worse. I am really hopeful I will get under it when I weight in Sunday but I’m worried. I am working so hard too. If I can get under it then I think it will go good again for a bit. I think and not sure of course but I think I can go another 20 maybe 30 down before I hit it.  But right now I’m just focused on getting past this one - not sure what I can do?

the Blender!

I bought a blender yesterday...woo hoo yep I'm happy, now I can make my soups and other drinks much easier and totally better...this blender works like magic!

I also was able to get a couple of good workouts yesterday and I've done one this morning so I'm doing great with that part. I love this standing abs workout with Laura London I can feel it and it's easy to do which makes it a win win.  Still doing 1 mile on the walk away the lbs but again I can sure feel it.

Oh and my other "helper" is I take the tall and trim SmartWater bottles which are 32 oz and I fill them up and then add two of my diet flavor tubes to them and I have nice cold flavored-so I'll for sure drink them- on hand. When I have events to do I freeze one halfway the night before and then fill it up and away I go! Two of these a day gives me my gallon! and some how they make it seem easy to get in enough water.

End of Week Two

Well it's Sunday again I'm not sure if I should be excited to see what I've done this week or dreading it to see how I did this week! LOL... and the verdict is:

Weight  -3 lbs a total of 6 lbs so far
Bust -1 a total of 3
Waist -1 1/2 a total of 2 1/2
H/Abs -1 total of 5 1/2
Arms 0 total of 0

I have found some new exercises and I did two workouts yesterday and I'm feeling better about this coming week.  I bought some tennis shoes so I can walk without damaging my feet, so we'll see how this next week goes. I tend to lose inches faster than lbs that is something my old P/T was shocked by (he'd remeasure 3 times), it, like me is rare lol. I love losing inches because the reward is someone notices, even if it's only yourself as your clothes get bigger but I need lbs to be gone, in order to control and hopefully rid myself of diabetes I have to lose the lbs and I am losing lbs just not as much as I expected the first week or two but 6 gone is better than none gone!

tomorrow is my day to weigh in and do the measurements and I'm nervous lol not sure why? since I think I am doing ok, my first week was good anyway. I could have had something not on my diet list last night, dang I got it halfway to my mouth and then said NO! It sure wasn't easy though.  I haven't been doing my workouts enough this week either, tons of excuses but none of them avoidable I am just not standing up to resting and getting my butt in gear! I have some goals for this next week and hopefully I can come back and say I did better....

wow I found this and I love it! I can't do things that put pressure on my neck/back but these are great for ads... http://www.lauralondonfitness.com/workouts/ab-workouts/12-minute-standing-up-abs-1

Well I have had a long day! I am still very swollen but I have finally figured out my mistake in diet, took me til dinner time and unfortunately I erred at lunch so it will be tomorrow before I can get back towards OK with this fluid issue!

I am freezing cold, which is another not fun aspect of this body, have on my new friend sweater (not the same) my full wolley slippers. when the swelling goes down I'll be much warmer again. My bad so my payback.

To keep this from happening again I'm going to start making my own broths/bases for my soups, except my tomato one it's ok because I used no salt tomato juice HELLO at least I was thinking for that one! grrrrrrrrrr mad that I never paid attention to the chicken and beef broths I used!

Well learned something new and now I just need to move forward.

Crisis

Put myself in crisis... woke up about an hour ago, not sure what woke me but my face was horribly swollen, gained over 5 lbs.... too much sodium! that is something most do not know about my many struggles in this new body made by knives cutting me open, slicing into my brain and my heart and someone else deciding what parts to throw away, how best to rewire me. 

Limitations to what I can eat is one, the heart doc warned me that dieting can be hard because of the sodium issue, ironically my only diet restriction! the pain in my hands, feet, head that I have learned (almost) to live with but that do affect my ability to exercise.  the missing memories that strain my brain all the time trying to recapture, hell some are in a haze mat bag gone forever but my brain keeps trying or maybe it's my heart. The insults about my face, rejection from fear of loving someone, investing your heart in someone who could easily die tomorrow and so much more.... maybe I'm just whining because I feel so foolish for not watching the sodium intake better and I really need to quit whining since cheese is not on my diet!

OK time to go pace some more and drink more water, maybe make some green tea to help relieve some of this fluid so I can get some rest.

First Week is Over

Well week one is over and the news is.....

3 lbs down, was wishing for more but hey 3 is better than none!
chest down 2" not bad,
waist only 1" but again better than none,
hips/abs down 4 1/2" which is great!
Arms none :(....

so today starts another week, I have some plans to fix a couple of things in my diet and to add some more exercises.

 all and all not a bad first week of this new life journey!

Mid-Week of week One

here it is Weds. so a couple days into the diet... I have managed I THINK to get my diabetes under control a bit...a great start at least.  I am being super strict with my choices and it has not been easy...I get hungry so I found a way to make tomato soup without all the bad a can of it has..I'm using no salt tomato juice and I use a 1/2 pk of chili seasoning.... I heat it in a pan so the flaves blend well then put it in a pitcher so I can keep it in the fridge and pour a cup whenever I want just nuke and it fills me up, the warmth from heating really helps that yum feeling and I can have the whole thing if I want since the whole deal has 300 calories...two cups fills me right up and holds me but IF I got hungry later no guilt in having more and it's cheap under $2...I've also increased my water too I noticed at one point my sugar had gone back up and then I added my water back and it's on track now. Also going to the pool for my workouts.

I have hope now...we'll see what Sunday brings for week one!

First day of the diet

So started my diet today. At points I've felt like I was starving but I've managed to handle those moments as they come the right way. I feel pretty good, my sugar was the lowest it's been in a long while so what I was hoping for in health is happening! Hopefully it continues to get better over the next few days. I'm feeling pretty proud that so far so good, ok ok ok I know it's only day one but I was worried because my sugar could just as easily gone UP diets are tricky for diabetics.

It seems like I have had to climb mountains these last 7.5 yrs, no-one understands how painful it has been in all areas. Sometimes it has felt like I was on level ground, other times like I was climbing Mt. Everest....most of the time on rolling hills, not always easy but never super bad. I think I will have to attack all the emotional on this in order to get well completely inside but it will be another day.

Now I face medical issues that should be fairly simple to handle BUT without medical coverage and no real county clinic's it has become a life threat. LOL this is one issue I try to talk politic's with my son-in-law over, I totally respect his choices but I need to know what the plan is of those choices when it comes to medical coverage for the poor/low income like me? I simply cannot afford insurance that cost as much as rent each month.

So one thing I can do to fix or at the very least help me not lose parts or go blind is to lose some of this wt. ideally I could lose 100 lbs and be Ms. Perfect now that would be nice, but that is not a realistic goal for a number of reasons. 80 lbs down would put me in a great shape so I'd like to make that a goal, but for real I need to lose 40 lbs to help my health... so I guess I will set a goal of mim. 40 lbs and main target to lose 80 total. So on Sunday I am going to start a diet with 40 down as the goal, sure hope I can make it work right.

I'm just testing this for now...to see how to make it look nice and what all everything is...