Well I have had a long day! I am still very swollen but I have finally figured out my mistake in diet, took me til dinner time and unfortunately I erred at lunch so it will be tomorrow before I can get back towards OK with this fluid issue!

I am freezing cold, which is another not fun aspect of this body, have on my new friend sweater (not the same) my full wolley slippers. when the swelling goes down I'll be much warmer again. My bad so my payback.

To keep this from happening again I'm going to start making my own broths/bases for my soups, except my tomato one it's ok because I used no salt tomato juice HELLO at least I was thinking for that one! grrrrrrrrrr mad that I never paid attention to the chicken and beef broths I used!

Well learned something new and now I just need to move forward.

Crisis

Put myself in crisis... woke up about an hour ago, not sure what woke me but my face was horribly swollen, gained over 5 lbs.... too much sodium! that is something most do not know about my many struggles in this new body made by knives cutting me open, slicing into my brain and my heart and someone else deciding what parts to throw away, how best to rewire me. 

Limitations to what I can eat is one, the heart doc warned me that dieting can be hard because of the sodium issue, ironically my only diet restriction! the pain in my hands, feet, head that I have learned (almost) to live with but that do affect my ability to exercise.  the missing memories that strain my brain all the time trying to recapture, hell some are in a haze mat bag gone forever but my brain keeps trying or maybe it's my heart. The insults about my face, rejection from fear of loving someone, investing your heart in someone who could easily die tomorrow and so much more.... maybe I'm just whining because I feel so foolish for not watching the sodium intake better and I really need to quit whining since cheese is not on my diet!

OK time to go pace some more and drink more water, maybe make some green tea to help relieve some of this fluid so I can get some rest.

First Week is Over

Well week one is over and the news is.....

3 lbs down, was wishing for more but hey 3 is better than none!
chest down 2" not bad,
waist only 1" but again better than none,
hips/abs down 4 1/2" which is great!
Arms none :(....

so today starts another week, I have some plans to fix a couple of things in my diet and to add some more exercises.

 all and all not a bad first week of this new life journey!

Mid-Week of week One

here it is Weds. so a couple days into the diet... I have managed I THINK to get my diabetes under control a bit...a great start at least.  I am being super strict with my choices and it has not been easy...I get hungry so I found a way to make tomato soup without all the bad a can of it has..I'm using no salt tomato juice and I use a 1/2 pk of chili seasoning.... I heat it in a pan so the flaves blend well then put it in a pitcher so I can keep it in the fridge and pour a cup whenever I want just nuke and it fills me up, the warmth from heating really helps that yum feeling and I can have the whole thing if I want since the whole deal has 300 calories...two cups fills me right up and holds me but IF I got hungry later no guilt in having more and it's cheap under $2...I've also increased my water too I noticed at one point my sugar had gone back up and then I added my water back and it's on track now. Also going to the pool for my workouts.

I have hope now...we'll see what Sunday brings for week one!

First day of the diet

So started my diet today. At points I've felt like I was starving but I've managed to handle those moments as they come the right way. I feel pretty good, my sugar was the lowest it's been in a long while so what I was hoping for in health is happening! Hopefully it continues to get better over the next few days. I'm feeling pretty proud that so far so good, ok ok ok I know it's only day one but I was worried because my sugar could just as easily gone UP diets are tricky for diabetics.

It seems like I have had to climb mountains these last 7.5 yrs, no-one understands how painful it has been in all areas. Sometimes it has felt like I was on level ground, other times like I was climbing Mt. Everest....most of the time on rolling hills, not always easy but never super bad. I think I will have to attack all the emotional on this in order to get well completely inside but it will be another day.

Now I face medical issues that should be fairly simple to handle BUT without medical coverage and no real county clinic's it has become a life threat. LOL this is one issue I try to talk politic's with my son-in-law over, I totally respect his choices but I need to know what the plan is of those choices when it comes to medical coverage for the poor/low income like me? I simply cannot afford insurance that cost as much as rent each month.

So one thing I can do to fix or at the very least help me not lose parts or go blind is to lose some of this wt. ideally I could lose 100 lbs and be Ms. Perfect now that would be nice, but that is not a realistic goal for a number of reasons. 80 lbs down would put me in a great shape so I'd like to make that a goal, but for real I need to lose 40 lbs to help my health... so I guess I will set a goal of mim. 40 lbs and main target to lose 80 total. So on Sunday I am going to start a diet with 40 down as the goal, sure hope I can make it work right.

I'm just testing this for now...to see how to make it look nice and what all everything is...